pain_train | SANCTUM INBOX

Lunch actually ended up being a slice of pizza, thanks to April and Whiskey. Long story. But really, she's just counting the minutes until North shows up, messing around on the network to pass the time. He's definitely the highlight of her day. The highlight of her week, for sure.

"North!" She smiles brightly. "Well... still in traction. And down two limbs. But soon. They can't hold me long."

"How's your friend?" Since she knows he's here to visit the person across the hall. She's been getting a lot of listeners.

Edited (spelling!) 2014-11-02 08:15 (UTC)

"I can just see you making a break for it." As soon as she's patched up, that is.

"Carolina? Everything's about the same. Still in a coma." Not much more to be said about that. He sets the box on the nearby tray table and sits down in the chair. "Did you find anything to do while you waited on me?"

"But you won't see me making a break for it. That's the point!" She grins. Well yes. Once she can do little things like... stand.

Though who's she kidding. She wants out because she wants to stretch her legs, but she might as well stay parked in the hospital until the compliance assessment she knows must be coming is over. It's always worse if you make them come after you... right? She has a feeling it is, and she doesn't discount those feelings. That's all she really has sometimes.

"Oh... I'm sorry. Whiskey's keeping a good eye on her at least." Because that's what Whiskey does. She wiggles her fingers at him. "I helped April break into the hospital because Whiskey was being a dick to her. That was a lot of fun, actually. She's an awesome kid."

"I'm not acquainted. Sounds like it was a real escapade, though."

"April is... I think she just got hired as the communications intern? But she's really nice. She wanted to come visit and...maybe help me play a little prank on Whiskey so of course he said no. So I ordered a pizza and she took the delivery guy down. Stole his uniform and pizza and came right in!" Okay, it wasn't a perfect op since Whiskey caught her anyway, but they'd all gotten pizza out of the deal. Oh, and this seems an important detail to add: "The delivery boy got a really good tip."

He laughs, sort of disbelievingly. "You certainly will do anything to get some good food around here. How did you enjoy it?"

"I actually ordered Whiskey's favorite kind of pizza so maybe he'd be less of an asshole." She laughs. "And most of the pizza got lost in the shuffle while April was taking the delivery boy down. I think she needs a little more training, but she's got spirit! So I just had one piece, but it was all right. Definitely better than the rest of the shit they try feeding me here. And way better than that protein thingy they were giving me when my jaw was wired shut." She shudders.

"Did you manage to defeat all the dishes? You look okay. No wounds?"

He chuckles. "They put up a struggle but I was able to subdue them. Sorry it ended up being this late when I came but I had to buy ingredients after I got up and that pushed my whole timeline back. I meant to be here before lunch."

"I'll forgive you just this once." Have a mock-serious expression for a moment. "Your punishment is that you don't get to have pizza. Ha!"

Oooh, and now she has some scuttlebutt for him too. "Want some work gossip?"

He grins. "Even if I didn't I think you'd be itching to share it. Lucky you, I do."

She sticks her tongue out at him. "Well, if you're going to be like that..."

No, she really does want to tell him. It's exciting. But she does speak a little more quietly, glancing around. Hm. "You should close the door."

And assuming he does. "Whiskey's turned off the... um. Bad cameras." Oh god that's awkward to say. But it's not getting recorded, so that's all right, isn't it? "Anyway. So he's going back into combat arms! Whiskey is, I mean. I don' t know if you knew that. But the exciting part! The Commander's going to make him the Lieutenant of Gluttony platoon."

He returns from shutting the door and sits forward in his chair, all the better to show he's invested in hearing what she has to say.

He'd already gathered the content of her news, but he didn't want to quash her enthusiasm by admitting it. "That's pretty exciting for him. I'm supposed to be promoted to lieutenant at some point too. Once I prove myself, I was told."

If she was smiling before, she's positively glowing now. "Really? Wow, which platoon? Has she told you? I've... I've really missed the other lieutenants." She's been the last of the sins for a long time, so this is incredibly exciting. She'd probably be hugging him or dancing around if she could move, but the best she can manage is some enthusiastic finger wiggling. "She gave him the challenge coin yesterday, so that's a big deal. Do you have yours yet? And your weapon? Whiskey's got a two-hander, a flanged mace. He is seriously going to fuck some shit up with that."

"No, I don't know yet. At the time she told me I might be promoted I didn't even know what being a lieutenant meant. Yeah, they gave me a two-handed sword, a zweihander, it's called. Just a training model."

He tilts his head sympathetically. "I'm sorry you've had to miss them, that must be hard."

"Well... I mean, she won't necessarily give you one of the mobile infantry platoons. There are a lot of other lieutenants in the combat arms." She smiles. "But I think she will." Of course Hob will. Just look at North. Okay, she has no idea how he performs as a soldier, but she likes the way he feels to be around. If he can manage command, he'd make a good officer. The kind that would take care of his people, the way she's always done her best to take care of hers. Protect them.

She knows she does that.

"Oh... well of course you got a two-hander. Just look at you." She laughs, so much affection in her tone. "You're a monster. Can I see your sword? It's got to be... shit, it's got to be taller than me, practically. Are you any good at it yet? The tank cutters are hard but... wow, I'm kind of jealous, you know?"

She sobers a little, which is to say the smile drops to a less blinding wattage and she looks back toward the ceiling for a moment. "I've been trying to take care of all the mobile infantry that's been left. They're all good kids, North. Sometimes they say dumb things, but they're... they're good kids."

She at least knows he can hold his own against her, which is probably enough to justify her confidence in him. "Well, all I can do is do my best and what position she gives me is up to her. It's an exciting idea though, I can't lie."

He grins at her remark on his size. "I don't think anyone's ever called me a monster before. The sword is pretty massive though. Not real sure Whiskey would want me bringing it in here."

His smile gentles when hers does, and he suppresses an urge to reach over and take her hand. "You've had your work cut out for you, I guess?"

There is nothing sexier than a man who can stand up to her, but she is so not saying that out loud. "Have you commanded before? When did you join up? It must have been while I was unconscious..." Well. Maybe. No one tells her anything in here.

"You're huge. Every time I can't get the damn explosive rounds off that shelf in the armory, I'm going to call you. You know that, right?" She's only 5'3". The height distance is a bit startling, but she likes it. Too bad she's in traction, she thinks. He's got to give amazing hugs, since he's big and has long arms. The kind of hugs you can get lost in. "If it's not a live weapon, it shouldn't interfere with any of the equipment..." Come on, North. Whiskey never lets her have any fun.

She thinks back about the few little notes she's managed to leave herself. "Just mostly... they never think about who can hear them. So you have to keep an eye on them, okay? They'll say dumb shit where people can hear and... well, it's your responsibility if you're their CO, I figure. But I think I've got most of them sorted out. So you shouldn't have to deal with the compliance office too much. Just be careful, okay?"

Thinking about this does worry her. Probably not something she should talk about, but if North's going to be commanding, that puts him in the same position as her. And she can't remember... she doesn't know. But she knows it's bad. She knows she shouldn't have to many holes in her brain. She doesn't want bad things happening to him.

"It was the day after we fought. I've commanded a squad of Freelancers—that's what we were called, Freelancers. Most of the time I was the sniper, though." Times that he fought valiantly, unknowingly for the wrong cause, for the wrong side. But he can be proud of how he persevered.

"I'm used to getting things down for people," he admits. "It's a privileged way of living, I may as well use it for some good. And I still don't know about the sword, but I'll ask."

The mention of the compliance office gives him pause, a long pause. This is really sticky, because whatever Hob's planning should lead to the compliance office not being an issue—he thinks. But if the plan doesn't work out, what then? Will he be forced to go along with their wishes, will he lose sight of his motivations as he did after they picked him up the last time? "I'll keep them in line," is how he replies, because how can he explain anything about what Hob is doing? He's not even sure what it is himself.

"So this must be very different, huh." Though sniping... "But before I guess you always had a good overview of the tactical situation, right? Or hopefully, when it wasn't FUBAR."

She grins. "Oh good, so you're already all trained and everything. Benevolent overlord North, who gets things off tall shelves for the little people."

A long pause on her part as well. Is he understanding what she's trying to say? The problem is, she's not even sure herself. She just knows the feeling of it, not the reality, let alone how to put it into words. "They're good kids," she repeats. Then, slowly and carefully, like she's have to knit each word together from scratch, "Compliance... has a way of making good kids... it doesn't make them bad. It makes people good." Frown, narrowing of the eyes because does she really believe that? No, she doesn't. "No. It doesn't. It puts out fire."

This is a struggle. Why is she struggling with this? Because North is going to be a lieutenant. He needs to know these things. He needs to be warned. But it's hard to describe something that is only the vaguest outline, pieced together by letters scratched into plastic with fingernails.

Oh, he doesn't like that. Not at all. He stands and comes closer. " It's confusing, isn't it?" he says in a hushed tone. "They make it confusing."

"Confusing," she agrees. She clenches her fingers; it's the only thing she can do, worrying at her lip with her teeth. "They put out the fire. You can see it. Not the first or second or third time but... some day one of them comes back and his breath smells like honey and it's just... just gone. There's nothing left. There's just hollow and ash and everything is gray and then one day they...they eat a gun." No, she's wandering. She's associating, because these are the things she can remember. "We have to protect them from that. It's our job, North. Even if that means eating blame."

Yes. That's what she meant to say.

She glances around furtively, which is stupid because the door is closed, North is here, they're not coming for her yet. Swallows dryly and whispers: "If you want to remember, write it down, before they come for you. Write it down and read it a hundred times."

His first thought isn't to wonder just what it is that he's getting himself into but to reach out to her and take her hand and just...be a comforting presence. Somehow.

"I'll do that. They don't deserve to go through that." But he frowns, and rubs her hand with his thumb. "York's told me the same thing. Record everything."

One of the monitors beeps as she curls her fingers around North's hand. She's still got good grip strength, still has the callouses of someone that's been using a saber for years. Another warning beep and she makes herself take a few deep breaths, slow in and out past the sudden tightness in her throat.

She said what she needed to say. And he listened. He's not laughing. He doesn't... seem to think she's crazy.

Another deep, careful breath, and the thumb against her hand, that's soothing. That's good. Touch is always good. Physical things aren't lose so easily, and maybe she can remember the ghost of what this feels like later. "Okay." A little squeeze of the fingers. "I know you can do it." She nods as much as she can. "I don't... I'm not very good with machines."

Edited (spelling) 2014-11-03 01:12 (UTC)

"You don't need to be, it's all right. I'm here for you." All thoughts of how they started out, how she tried to beat him and bruise him, are gone at this time. All he sees is someone who's fragile, who needs a friend—someone who can comfort and calm her.

Edited 2014-11-03 02:20 (UTC)

She gives him a small, watery smile and mouths, 'Thank you.' It's not something she hears often. (Or maybe she does? She can't remember. She never remembers. But it's nice to not feel utterly alone in this for a moment.)

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