pain_train | SANCTUM INBOX

"I'm not really feeling like cake right now," she says. "But you should have some, I don't mind." She's only nibbled on a piece of pizza, not even finishing that. "Please don't get all weird at me Orion. I've had enough of that in one week."

Okay, something's not right. He'd tried to alleviate whatever it was with cake, but that obviously wasn't the right idea. He sets his beer down in the nearest surface and walks back to her, sitting on the floor in front of the couch.

He's not sure what to say, because he's not sure what he did. "I'm sorry. I'm trying." He thinks for a moment. Should be bring the beer back? "What do you need? Tell me."

Oh shit. That's really not what she wants at all. He shouldn't feel bad. None of this is his fault. "No, no. Not your fault. I didn't mean that stuff." At least not entirely. She rubs her forehead with one hand. "Really. Come on, you had a long first day at basic. Relax and don't worry about it."

Not his fault ... ? Hadn't she just said he was getting weird again? He frowns a little deeper and glances away. Maybe he's just so tired he's not sure what's going on anymore. Okay, let's try this again, be honest, not weird. Don't blame yourself.

He missed the simplicity of a Thrall swarm.

"Okay. But, I'd rather share the cake with you, so we'll save it for later when we're both feeling up to it." He gets back up, grabs his beer and the the Tv remote, and settles himself back on the couch with her feet in his lap. That's how he wanted to relax right now, with his friend.

He takes a drink from the beer and sets it within easy reach for her. As for the entertainment for the evening, something mindlessly stupid.

Edited 2015-03-09 01:19 (UTC)

"Okay," she says, quietly. Now she feels really bad about this. She's the one being weird and making things awkward for Orion when she was trying to get things to be fun.

She falls silent, but over the course of the first twenty minutes of the movie, she sort of oozes slowly over to be against Orion's side... if he lets her. She's tired of feeling like shit about everything.

He allows her. He encourages her, shifting himself slightly so she's got a comfortable place to nest. On the surface he's trying to dare himself to get through as many of these SpongeBurt RectangleSock episodes he can get through. Quietly, though, he's just trying to be there for her. He can sense there's something wrong but he can't figure out what, and he can't figure out how to ask, or even if he should.

After a couple episodes, he chuckles softly. "Has, ah ... has Maine said anything? I was expectnig to see him there, but no luck."

Wrath snuggles securely against his side. Well, one benefit of being dumped is she doesn't have to feel weird about this at all. She doesn't even have to feel weird that she doesn't feel weird. Not that it has any kind of special meaning. It's just... not something to worry about.

"Yeah, he ratted you out. That's how I knew you'd started." Suck it, Maine. You can't pretend forever. But she is no way no hell telling Orion about the finer points of the conversation they ended up having. "I have spies everywhere."

She tangles her fingers in the hem of his shirt to give herself something to hold on to.

"Did he see me and run in terror from my superior skills? Poor guy. I should let him beat me up more often if it'll give him a confidence boost." Kidding. Mostly. "I van see him fitting in perfectly there. It's going to be a bit of an adjustment for me."

Just judging by the dead soccer ball incident alone.

Wrath rolls her eyes. "You two are just fucking unreal," she comments. Dick measuring. They should just do it and get it over with. "Maine's a soldier, like me." Like I was. "Maybe some people are just born that way. Or when you've been doing it long enough and are into it, that's all that really fits. But you'll do fine once you get used to the chain of command. Plus it actually gets way easier once you're out of basic unless you go for special ops. Basic's there to weed out the people who can't hack it when they face a challenge or have to work in a team."

"I mean, I can do all that." Except for dick measuring. He's not thinking about that right now. But Wrath is right, they're rivalry isn't much more than Who's Bigger. "I've worked with teams before, but ... small teams, quickly assembled and quickly disbanded. Workung with the same people for months on end? That's daunting. And, yeah, it seems the Chain of Command is a little bit more rigid than the Vanguards or Faction leaders. "

"Yeah, it has to be more rigid, for a lot of reasons. The organization works once you get used to it, I promise." She's having more of a hard time being outside that rather rigid structure now. It kind of boggles her that anyone would have trouble adapting to it. But she also can't remember anything else, quite literally.

"It's nice, having the same people around to work with. They sort of become your family, after a while. At least when you're not on the job. You know them better than anyone else."

He takes in a breath and lets it out in a sigh, pulling Wrath closer for a moment and pressing his lips to the top of her head, not quite a kiss. "Family."

He'd like to experience that. Again? For the first time? At least, in setting where he can remember it.

"Yeah," she sighs. And she knows, everyone keeps telling her that she hasn't lost that. She still talks to some of the guys sometimes, so she's not completely out. But it's not the same. She misses belonging.

Wrath sighs. She can't help it, pressed by the weird urges that are still in the back of her head. "I wish I had a family."

Orion misses the point. "You always got us, you know." He rubs her shoulder. "I might get weird but you can't get rid of me that easily!"

"Thanks, Orion," she says, trying to cheer up a little.

But the point is, she also thought she had North, and... she hadn't. Because she's just... not right. She breathes out a long sigh. Well, it's not like it's a secret or anything; mostly she's just been thinking about it, trying to figure it out, trying to understand it after Whiskey explained things to her a bit. "North broke up with me."

He lets that process for a moment ... Oh. Oh. He wraps both arms around her and holds her as tightly as he dared for a moment, taking in a breath and letting it out in a sigh.

"His loss."

She shrugs, but still leans against him gratefully. "Not really. I was a shitty girlfriend and not the kind of person he needed to be happy. Hopefully he feels better pretty quick and finds someone he deserves."

She really, honestly, does want him to be happy. He was her friend before he was anything else.

He has no point of reference. He wasn't privy to the finer details of their relationship, and even if he was he has no personal experiences to back up what he's thinking right now.

"Is this the part where I get to punch you? Because you deserve to be happy too, you know. And, hey -- maybe you were just a shitty girlfriend because he was a shitty boyfriend."

Shrug. "You can if you want. Wouldn't mind getting in a fight." Julien would yell at her. Whatever.

"Nah, he was a good boyfriend, I think. Thoughtful and stuff. Took care of me. Didn't need more than me." She shrugs again. "I don't really get how this stuff works, but I think I don't want to fuck with this relationship stuff again. It's stupid and everyone just gets hurt."

Like she'd managed to upset Orion, too. Fuck it. Once she's back on her feet, she can still go trolling at bars even if she can't drink. She's got Orion and Maine as friends, doesn't really need anything more than that. Obviously.

"I guess it's just an unreachable ideal, huh?" Nice in theory, hellish in practice. "But, but all relationships aren't pointless, right? I mean friendships are still relationships. And we're good. Bumpy sometimes, but good."

"Sorry, I don't really know what I'm talking about. I just ... I want to help."

She snorts. "He managed to reach it just fine." Yep, she feels like shit. For not being what he wanted her to be, for not even really wanting to try to be that either. "No, you're right. Friendships are relationships, and they're important. I'm just going to... try to be a better friend. And not even mess with that other stuff so I don't make anyone else feel bad."

Wrath nudges him lightly. "You're doing fine. There's just not anything you can really do, since I'm the problem. Sorry."

Something about this is frustrating Orion and he's not even sure what. He's feeling pretty protective about Wrath right now, and as much as he knows North isn't intrinsically a bad guy, he just sort of wants to hate on him right now.

"Fuck North. What matters right now is you and making you feel better." This time, he does kiss the top of her head, affectionately.

"Don't say that, it's mean." Wrath shakes her head. And definitely not something she wants. North doesn't deserve to have people mad at him because she can't seem to get her shit together.

The kiss on the top of the head is nice. She's really willing to take whatever she can get. She just knows better than to ask for more or want more because that will just fuck everything up. (Well, she does want more, buy she knows better than to admit it. That's more true.)

Wrath sighs. At this rate she might as well just climb into Orion's lap, and that seems like a bad idea too. She just snuggles as close as she can. "I'd want to go out drinking but I'm not allowed to do that. So I guess it's movies on the couch. That works."

"Yeah well he's mean." Orion mumbles, lacking venom. He'll give up voicing that line of thought, but it will make seeing North at base a little awkward. Whatever, he pushes those thoughts it of his head for now, letting Wrath snuggle close and almost pulling her into his lap himself. He can tell she wants to be close and he's okay with that; comfortable is getting her comfortable in his arms and stroking his fingers through her hair as he flips through the viewer guide to see what's good. No romance, no drama/thinky films, something gratuitously violent, maybe? The kind you can't take seriously because it's too over the top? He keeps an eye on her to see if there's anything that piques her interest.

Edited 2015-03-09 14:34 (UTC)

"Is not," Wrath says, poking Orion in the stomach. She heard that. No, as far as she can tell, North is an amazing guy and she's basically crazy to have not been able to and not wanted to get her shit together to be with him. It's not a good feeling to have.

Since Orion doesn't seem to mind and isn't getting weird, she finally just does what she wants and worms her way entirely into his lap. That's much more comfortable for her, at least. Hopefully it works for him.

She keeps an eye on the available movies and reaches over to stop his incessant flipping when he his the Demon Marine series. Those are some of her favorites just because they are too ridiculous.

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