pain_train (
pain_train) wrote2014-10-22 09:12 pm
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SANCTUM INBOX
To find out times for the next three station stops of the Pain Train, press 1.
For a list of stations serviced by the Pain Train, press 2.
To leave a message for the conductor of the Pain Train, press 3.
To purchase tickets on the Pain Train, pull some more of your stupid-ass shit.
For a list of stations serviced by the Pain Train, press 2.
To leave a message for the conductor of the Pain Train, press 3.
To purchase tickets on the Pain Train, pull some more of your stupid-ass shit.
Day 152 | Morning | Action
Day 152 | Morning | Action
Day 152 | Morning | Action
Maybe she should just drop it. Because she might just upset him worse. And then he might leave and--
And what's the point of being friends, then, if you're afraid of being honest with the other person? And asking them to be honest with themselves? She's shit at this whole friends thing, probably. Which would explain why she doesn't have any except Whiskey, and he's a total asshole, just like her.
As best she can, she laces her fingers with his, then says: "Can't be true as in it's impossible, or as in you don't want it to be true?"
Because those are two very different things. And she knows the latter all too well, and it's a bad place that just hurts you worse in the end.
Day 152 | Morning | Action
Day 152 | Morning | Action
...it's a dumb thing to say. It's the best she can manage in that moment.
And she really, really, really, really hates being in traction. All she can do is hold onto his hand as tightly as possible. Because the worst part is this: if he didn't think it was possible, it wouldn't gnaw at him like this.
Day 152 | Morning | Action
He presses a hand to his forehead. There's that agitation, showing more plainly in the way he grits his teeth and tilts his head.
And it's all falling apart. The wall he'd put up in his head to avoid thinking about it. "God...Delta's not a liar, Wrath. He isn't. He must have misunderstood something." His hand moves from his head to the railing of her bed and he grip it hard, seemingly holding his own weight up by leaning into it.
Day 152 | Morning | Action
But being honest is best, right? Because telling people what they want to hear--ugh, no.
Very slowly, she says, "I don't know Delta, and I never met your sister. I don't know any of your friends. And this sounds... it sounds really painful. But if Delta's as honest as you say, if you ask him for just the facts, just what he saw himself, then that's it, right? You can't argue with facts. They don't go away." This is a struggle. She doesn't like this at all. "But maybe there's something he just doesn't know?"
Day 152 | Morning | Action
Day 152 | Morning | Action
Wrath squeezes his hand as bit more tightly. "Oh, North. I'm so sorry."
Because this doesn't even need to be spoken out loud. He already knows the truth; he's just had his plausible denials stripped away. She knows this feeling of thin denial replaced by the inexorable grind of truth. It's crushing and inescapable. (It's something she experiences over and over again, every time she goes through compliance.)
Day 152 | Morning | Action
She'd led the Meta to their doorstep and allowed him to be killed. Even if his dying hadn't been part of the plan, she'd still used him as bait. And that...
No, that's the part he can't handle.
He doesn't know how long he stands there but he's insensible for a time, barely registering that she's still holding his hand. Eventually he begins to catch his breath and he opens his eyes in a mental fog. He's not crying, he didn't cry, but he almost looks as if he had. Maybe he needs to at some point but this is too fresh to simply break down over.
Day 152 | Morning | Action
Well, nothing ever is.
Unable to do anything else, she focuses on the one point of contact they have: hands. She loosens her grip enough to stroke his knuckles. It's kind of awkward, position-wise, but she does her best.
He looks terrible when he opens his eyes, like someone just died, and she supposes that's not far off. It hurts to look at him, almost. Wrath squeezes his hand. "Hey. It's not okay, I know it's not. I'm really sorry. But I'm here." That's about all she can even say.
Day 152 | Morning | Action
He moves his gaze to Wrath and notices what she's been doing, stroking his hand. "Don't twist your wrist," he admonishes, not for the first time, and moves his hand to take hers at a better angle. Being the caretaker, that's something he can handle. That's what he was made for, practically.
Day 152 | Morning | Action
Fuck, she hates being stuck like this. It's so much helplessness. Her smile goes wry. "Throw some zen hair petting in there too. You look like you could use it."
Day 152 | Morning | Action
Day 152 | Morning | Action
She squeezes his hand, and of all annoying things, actually blushes. When did she start blushing about stuff? She never blushed about anything on that spectrum before. Well, the problem is that she likes North a lot and really doesn't want to screw this up. Fuck.
(Or not fuck as the case may be shit shit shit, this is super inappropriate, Wrath, stop it!)
She does her best to pretend that everything is just fine and maybe he won't notice or will be polite enough to pretend he doesn't. "Good. I'll add it to my to-do list for when I'm out of traction. I already owe you like four hugs, plus interest."
Day 152 | Morning | Action
Day 152 | Morning | Action
There is still that danish. And it makes for an awesome distraction, right?
Day 152 | Morning | Action
Day 152 | Morning | Action
If you really want her to hold still, North, this is probably not the way to do it.
"Does there need to be a scoreboard now? How many hugs does Wrath owe North?"
Day 152 | Morning | Action
Day 152 | Morning | Action
It's good to laugh, really. They both need it.
Day 152 | Morning | Action
Day 152 | Morning | Action
Probably would be more convincing if she wasn't still holding his hand and stroking his fingers with her thumb.
Day 152 | Morning | Action
Day 152 | Morning | Action
Yep just made that up on the spot. She sticks her tongue out at him.
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Night 152; text
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